The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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