i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
