I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
