id be glad to
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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