So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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