Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My bed smells like the plague
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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