I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think people are normalizing furries
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
