So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
