I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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