3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize