she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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