Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
