Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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