dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
