Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This baby is an asshole
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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