apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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