I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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