New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
