Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
