Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
