Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
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you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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