Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
