he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
