Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
