dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
