I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
