I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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