Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize