After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
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If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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