these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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