It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
