she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it glows. i had to have it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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