im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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