He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
