It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Houston, we have a squirter
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
