I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
