we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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