New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
