For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
