Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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