I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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