its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Who put my cat in the fridge?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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