hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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