Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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