the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
