people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
