You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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