I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
