i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
