There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
