Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
