Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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