I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
