I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just want to make out with him forever
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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