belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
