Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
