so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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