he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
