she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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