Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
