I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Pants are for mortals
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize