I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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