Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize