You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
