Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..