don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
