Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
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he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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