Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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