I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize